We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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