so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
