that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Found your dick twin last night
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
