tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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