WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
