I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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