somebody snuck up and got me drunk
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
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i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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