I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
