I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
