i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
