if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
tell me about the eggs
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
