Your dad touched me again.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
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He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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