he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
