My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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