Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
