I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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