I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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