dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
