I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
