I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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