Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
