Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
try to milk me bitch
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