The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
