You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
