This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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