i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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