I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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