smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
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we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
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After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
this is an emotional support booty call
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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