I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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