Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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