Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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