There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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