Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize