He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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