Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Randomize
