so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
