Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
