There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Someone came in the potted fern
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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