I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
