i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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