Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
