chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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