Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Omg the world wants us to be better people