the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
