had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....