Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
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Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
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Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK