You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
