I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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