me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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