You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
two words: eviction party
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
