At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
