as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
