turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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