Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Randomize
