I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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