just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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