I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
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When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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