The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
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He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
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He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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