haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
