Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
