dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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